"old frocks and knick knacks. true genuine emotions and feelings. live, loud music that makes your heartbeat thump out of your chest. 1970 volvo turbo off-white wagon. laying on wet grass star gazing. rings and rings and rings. my boy with his beard and stubble. car and train travel, anything to keep my little feet relatively close to the ground. keeping a diary and hearting all the i's. waking up to rain showers and cuddling in bed all tangled and twisted. traipsing my fingers along your back bone. harmonicas and tambourines. buying vintage post cards. sing-a-longs. toying with the idea of a cross-country road trip for my 21st. getting butterflies while listening to neutral milk hotel. hannah+landon. mint leaves in my iced tea. going on coffee runs with my honey honey. lavender. walking into my room to find wildflowers. finishing my astrolab. bon iver. the full moon. cuddling on the hammock together. finally reading, "the bell jar". peach wine. bridget coming home from australia. daisy chains. vintage heels. hearing the crickets out my bedroom window. being in love."

i wrote this almost a year ago. it's funny how things change while others stayed the same. i guess the things that have changed have changed for the better and the things that haven't i wouldn't want any other way. that boy with the "beard and stubble" is the same man i'm head-over-heels in love with. we no longer sleep together on weekends but every night in a bed adorned with dreamcatchers and flower crowns, under our red-roofed barn out on our lake. my life is so marvelous that sometimes i have to stop dead in my tracks and remind myself how lucky i am to be constantly surrounded with love and positive vibes.

i still go on coffee runs with my honey honey, even if they are in a different town. my next door neighbor is now a lavender farm and i still believe everything is more intense on the full moon. bridget has returned from australia along with my gaggle of other traveling girl friends. instead of only hearing crickets out my window, i hear the sweet songs that the frogs croak to each other in the quiet, wee hours of the morning. the crickets only make their voices heard when the birds begin to chirp while i sip my morning coffee on our screened in porch after i watch b drive off to work.

i'm learning how to not sweat the small stuff and go with the flow. i'm learning how to be more kind and patient and to take in every detail of what this wonderful world has to offer. my life is so filled with love and i'm thankful for everyone i have. i'm not making anymore promises about deleting this blog or getting rid of it... i like stumbling on old posts i wrote and knowing that that very day was the day bryan and i had to wake up early and go to work even though all we wished for was to have one of those hot july days turn into a rainy one so we could have an extra hour in bed together. i still think it's ironic the day that i left to go back to school was the first real rain storm that we had, it's the exact storm that we were wishing for all summer long.

all the love my heart can hold,

stephanie.

#31

i wish i had our own bed that we could fall asleep in next to each other every night.

i wish that i didn't feel so sad sometimes and i wish i could smile more.

my favorite part of everyday is the part where i wake up with you along my back and we're all twisted and turned together.

tangled up with arms and legs.

old frocks and knick knacks. true genuine emotions and feelings. live, loud music that makes your heartbeat thump out of your chest. 1970 volvo turbo off-white wagon. laying on wet grass star gazing. rings and rings and rings. my boy with his beard and stubble. car and train travel, anything to keep my little feet relatively close to the ground. keeping a diary and hearting all the i's. waking up to rain showers and cuddling in bed all tangled and twisted. traipsing my fingers along your back bone. harmonicas and tambourines. buying vintage post cards. sing-a-longs. toying with the idea of a cross-country road trip for my 21st. getting butterflies while listening to neutral milk hotel. hannah+landon. mint leaves in my iced tea. going on coffee runs with my honey honey. lavender. walking into my room to find wildflowers. finishing my astrolab. bon iver. the full moon. cuddling on the hammock together. finally reading, "the bell jar". peach wine. bridget coming home from australia. daisy chains. vintage heels. hearing the crickets out my bedroom window. being in love.

adirtyblonde, hannah+landon, smv, weheartit, stephaniejuris.

strawberry stained fingertips.

it's been a busy day for us.

Create a MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

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On Main St., down the hill from my house, is a seedy witchcraft supply store. The owner is a funny man, he runs around the shop pointing at things saying, "Protection, you see, protection" and put his fingers against each other like a cross. I picked out 5 crystals, some red and white candles, and some other jasmine and lavender oils, Alli buys an entire jar of wild feathers for $2. He adds up the items on a white paper bag, counting in his head then he says, "$47" and I ask for a copy of the receipt. When he hands me the brown paper bag marked with his calculations, the owner of the store points at me and asks, "Bruja?"

When I was 11 I used to walk to the library near my school and check out all the books on Wicca and witchcraft. Never would i really, truly read them; I was just desperately trying to be unique or understand some sort of spirituality. I just to hold witch ceremonies with my neighbors where we would cast spells on the young boys that would come to mow our lawns. Now I wonder how silly we looked, are there only some moments of silliness now as opposed to living entire lives of it? I wonder what my dad must have thought, watching Alli and I dip our fingers in the melted candle wax and pretend we were signing our blood sisters oath. Making tents in the garage and creating a mural with watercolors of a city we all swore that we had been to. I wonder what my parents thought of me then, making a mess exposed to the whole neighborhood.